If You Fall
by LOkid
Summary: Post-Barricade and Pre-river Javert takes a look at JVJ's file. Re-Written based on reviwers input.


Disclaimer: (or Basic Legal Junk) I do not own the book, musical or characters in this story

Authors Note: I rewrote this based on some of the reviews I have received. A big thanks to AmZ for pointing out my plot flaw. I have attempted to remedy that and a few other minor errors that I discovered on re-reading for the sixth time.

Thanks to all who reviewed!

If You Fall…

I glanced down at the letter I had just finished writing. "Javert," I muttered to myself. "What has gotten into you?" In truth I knew the answer. I had just let a convict walk away from me. No that isn't right … I had walked away from him, after escorting him to his house. I had helped him carry the rebel's body and seen that he made it home safely. I had done that, me, I had let both of them go free. Yet, what else could I have done. He had saved my life. But why had he done it? Who was this Jean Valjean? Seeing that this would not stop bothering me I sealed the letter I had finished writing and tucked it into a pocket as I made my way into a room reserved for files. After searching for a while I located the file I was looking for. "Jean Valjean" the label read "deceased". This supposed fact I knew was false. Dead men don't appear at barricades.

I opened the file and what I knew about Valjean's history was confirmed. He had been sentenced in 1795 to five years in the galleys for theft and breaking and entering an inhabited house at night. There he grew increasingly unruly, attempting escape at four separate occasions. The second escape I noticed still had the label written in "with resisting recapture." My mind unwittingly wandered back there to the man (or was it a monster?) I had seen then.

I remembered his second escape attempt. I had been working at Toulon for four years. I had accepted the frequent escape attempts. For most it was just a matter of catching up to the prisoner, however Valjean's second escape attempt was different then any of the ones that had come before. After the alarm cannon sounded six of us started chasing him. My friend (I suppose one could call him that, I never had been one for socializing) Lucien Royer was the first to catch up with Valjean. The con threw him off with remarkable ease. I could tell that Royer's arm was broken. I was only a few feet behind Lucien and threw myself at the overly muscled man, a mistake that I didn't realize until later. He had noticed me coming and had grabbed a sharp rock which was coming straight at my head. I managed to shift my head to the right, avoiding a cracked skull but the rock left a gash just in front of my left ear. Fortunately by that time the rest of the team had caught up with us and working together we managed to bring the monster down. Later after the cut had healed over into a scar I decided to grow my sideburns to hide that scar, that sign of my first mistake which I had sworn would be my last.

Could I have just let that monster walk away? Should I go back and pull this beast off the street? How could I have walked away? Unable to answer that question I turned back to the file. There was the theft of the bishop's silver, and the highway robbery of a child. Then of course there were the charges not in the file ones I should have added as I continued the investigation in my own time. These included his escape from Brest, the kidnap of the whore's daughter, fleeing the Gorbeau tenement, and now after tonight treason and murder. Yes I should add these notes into the file. I should gather some men and return to the Rue Plumet. After all could I really believe that Valjean had changed? Here was his life story in black and white. It is impossible for me to imagine that he let me go just because "it was the right thing to do". After all his history shows that he is incapable of doing the right thing only for its own sake.

Yet I cannot do it. I cannot add the notes that my duty requires me to do. Valjean is forever a criminal but I owe him. What an absurd concept I can hardly believe that I thought it. However impossible this concept seems I cannot deny that it is true. Not that I owe him now. By letting him go I fulfilled that debt. Now my only debt left is to the law I have cheated and broken. To pay off my debt to him I became what I always feared. I, Javert, Inspector of the first class have broken the law. I have aided in the escape of a fugitive. I know that I need to turn myself in and set this right. I should go to the Prefects office immediately and demand my dismissal. But I won't. How do I face my crime without ruining Valjean's cover? Not that I care about his safety but turning myself in would require turning him in as well, putting me back in his debt. What can I do? By letting Valjean go I broke the law. The fact that this violation is easily overlooked by others matters little. By letting him go, by helping him carry the traitor to M. Gillenormand's home, I have become what I have spent my life pursuing. I have sunk down to the level of those I spent my life trying to catch. I cannot turn myself in without destroying the payment of a debt owed. Therefore the burden falls to me to judge myself. I must do what is right for all parties. There is only one answer.

This decided I addressed the letter I had written earlier and set it on a desk on my way out. I had no right to suggest the things I had but what did it matter? I was slowly beginning to realize that sometimes the only judge you can listen to is your conscience. I had never thought of this concept until tonight and indeed had no desire to dwell on it. I walked back to the Seine and stared for a moment at the merciless waters below. I had done the unthinkable. I had two choices and could accept nether in my heart, leaving only the third choice, death, which was the only option I could live with, or not live with depending on who you asked. I had broken the law. And I would see that I paid back to society what I owed.

"_For if you fall as Lucifer fell, you fall in flames"_


End file.
